Empathy is not sympathy.

The essence of empathy is the ability to stand in another's shoes and to feel what it's like to be them. Your primary feelings are more related to the other person's situation than your own.

Sympathy is feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

Empathy therefore is the ability to understand another person’s feelings and to consider another person’s perspective but not being judgemental or feeling responsible for fixing it!

Brené Brown identifies the four qualities of empathy as:

1)  to be able to see the world as others see it
2)  to be nonjudgmental
3)  to understand another's feelings
4)  to communicate your understanding of that person's feelings

By building empathy, you can broaden your worldview and respond appropriately to situations, thereby building stronger connections and more powerful relationships and reducing conflict.

Lesson Activity

Some exercises to help you build empathy:

1. Strengthen your internal resources

Think about something you are struggling with and how it makes you feel. Then imagine a friend coming to you with that same problem and how you might respond to them.

Doing this can highlight the chasm between the kindness we show to others compared to the kindness (or lack of) we tend to show ourselves. 

2. Pay some kindness forward

At some point in your day, especially a busy day when you are stressed or tired, pay some kindness forward — whether it’s in time, energy or money.

You could send a text message of support to someone who’s having a hard time. When you’re running errands, pick up your partner’s favourite snack. Help out a neighbour...

Building empathy isn’t about the big gestures. It’s about the little things you do every day; It’s about an attitude or habit of our mind.

3. Listen more than you speak

Practice being slow to form an opinion of someone or something. If something grabs your attention, research it thoroughly before making any conclusions.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”