That which offers no resistance, overcomes the hardest substances.

That which offers no resistance can enter where there is no space.

The ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and our sense of personal identity, self-esteem and self-importance.

To have an ego is essential to our very makeup. It defines who we are and how we connect with others. Ego becomes an issue however when it prevents us from accepting there may be a different or better way of understanding or doing things - that there may be things we do not know we do not know…

The ego also reinforces our sub conscious biases; the implicit biases or attitudes we hold subconsciously that affect the way we feel and think about life and behave toward others. 

In the context of learning and growing  therefore the ego can become a problem when it creates resistance and deprives us of humility, curtails our curiosity and hold us in a place of pain. 

To have humility requires you to:

• Widen your social circle
• Avoid assumption
• Accept you will only be shown only that which you have previously seen or demonstrated an interest in...
• Review and reflect on your behaviour and actions, become aware of your bias behaviours and question your worldview - stay curious.
• Spend more time listening to others.
• Practice mindfulness and focus on the present.
• Practice gratitude.
• Ask for help when you need it.
• Seek feedback from others on a regular basis.
• Review your actions against the language of pride – do not try to impress, instead actively seek alternative opinions.
• Be open to change; to new ways of seeing, learning, and understanding

Humility is a virtue and essential character strength for those of us who wish to grow with ease and grace.

Humility is the opposite of pride, arrogance, and an inflated sense of our importance and talents. It is based on a fundamentally caring and compassionate attitude toward others and underpins a growth mindset that offers no resistance.

Humble students are genuinely open to feedback and often overtake their more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice or new perspective. Studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ (Owens, Johnson, & Mitchell, 2013; Krumrei-Manusco, Haggard, LaBouff, & Rowatt, 2019).

Lesson Activity

How to Practice Humility

1. Be like Water...

We need to begin by developing an accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. 

Then we must own our imperfections.

When we do, we no longer need to waste our energy hiding them from others but can instead seek to learn to live with them productively or even to overcome them. 

Although we are the subject in our world, we must remember that we are an object in everybody else’s. We are not the centre of their universe only our own. We are all parts of structures that are larger than ourselves – couples, families, communities, nations, the organisations for which we may work, the human species. We should never forget the many teams of which we are a part – small and large. Sometimes, it is apt to privilege the needs of our [teams] over our own individual desires.

Stay curious and open to all potential learning opportunities.

We can learn from everything.

Humour is a powerful tool. We can all benefit from laughing more about ourselves and our imperfections.

2. Ask for help when you need it

When undertaking a learning programme such as this, which integrates mindset and emotional processing alongside practical skills development, it is very likely that at times you will be emotionally triggered or old habits, beliefs or memories may resurface and you will need to take time to process these in order to keep moving forward.

At these times it is important you reach out and ask for help if you need it.

We are always at your side ready to listen and guide you.  

3. Be aware of the fallacy trap

A fallacy is an error in our reasoning.

When considering a situation, do not generalise or use a previous unrelated experience to justify a present action.

A fallacy we frequently fall into is the 'sunk cost' fallacy - where we feel we have invested too much already we simply cannot stop now...